Sagittarius Solar Eclipse: Shed Old Stories

“Jen, wait up a second!”

As I heard my name, I turned around and saw Ann* approaching with a serious look on her face. I started getting worried; we’d been having regular disagreements over my work for more than a year.

“I heard the radio documentary yesterday…” Ann began.

My work with two teen siblings in foster care had recently been featured in a one-hour documentary on National Public Radio. At the time, I was working for a five-year federally funded project with the goal of finding adoptive and permanent families for Minnesota teens under state guardianship.

“…and I need to talk to you.”

Prior to the start of The Homecoming Project, research showed that only 4% of Minnesota teens awaiting adoption at age 15 would join a family. It was well documented that teens “aging out” of foster care faced grim prospects, many without a place to live, unemployed, and worse. And the problem wasn’t just in my home state: More than 25,000 young people were aging out of foster care each year in the United States, a number that hasn’t improved much all these years later.

“It’s about Mike*…” Ann said.

It’s probably not surprising to learn that finding and supporting an adoptive family for a teenager is complicated. My role involved collaborating with the tapestry of multiple professionals involved in each youth’s life – therapists, lawyers, social workers, school staff, guardians ad litem, foster parents, group home staff and more. I would spend lots of time with each youth to get to know them well; I then advocated on their behalf, often having to convince other adults that permanency was a realistic, worthwhile, and achievable option.

“…and the prospective adoptive family that you found for him.” Ann remarked

Take Ann, for example: A lovely social worker who, I believe, wanted what was best for 16-year-old Mike. She’d been working with him for years as he moved from placement to placement. She believed he wasn’t yet emotionally ready to join an adoptive family.

“I know we’ve had our differences over the past year…” Ann observed.

A month ago, I’d introduced Mike’s large team of workers to a prospective adoptive family. We were early in the process with the family, but the way it worked went something like this**: After going through some intense training on adopting older kids, the family would learn everything possible about Mike, and meet his workers and usually some members of the birth family. They’d learn all the wonderful stuff about him, as well as the possible challenges. All of this happened prior to meeting Mike. The family wouldn’t meet Mike until they made an unconditional commitment to him – that no matter what happened, they were Mike’s parents, and they wouldn’t “give him back” to the foster care system. In other words, they would work through any problems that arose.

“…but I need to share something.”

Ann – who held a lot of sway within the team – didn’t want to see Mike’s foster care placement get disrupted. He wasn’t ready for adoption, she argued, and she didn’t want to see him get hurt again if the adoptive family didn’t pan out. She’d seen adoptions fail before – kids adopted and then “sent back” to the system. And it was true: A lot of the teens I worked with had been through failed adoptions prior to my work with them. I kept reasoning, however, that Mike would definitely face disruption if he aged out of foster care at 18. And if we waited for the day that Mike “looked ready,” he’d never have permanency; we’d be waiting forever.

══════════════════

The New Moon on December 4th (1:43 am CST) is at 12 degrees of Sagittarius and is also a solar eclipse. New Moons are generally times in the lunar cycle when the energy is fresh for something new to begin – to think about what you want to initiate and sow those seeds. Sagittarius – the sign of the archer – offers a message of expansion and growth. Among other things, it is aligned with the idea of broadening your horizons, beginning an adventure, sharing something you have extensive knowledge of, or diving into something unfamiliar.

This eclipse is also happening on the Lunar South Node, which is associated with releasing and letting go. And because it’s in Sagittarius, it brings a message of questioning how tightly tied to our beliefs and opinions we are… of not getting too caught up in how things “should” be. It asks us to consider whether we’ve become too comfortable with something that is, perhaps, now holding us back from the path of growth.

So, this is a bit of a paradoxical New Moon, because on the one hand, we’re being pushed to begin (New Moon) a fresh adventure (Sagittarius) and a new story. Yet – as this is the final eclipse in an 18-month series along the Gemini/Sagittarius axis – there is a cosmic message here about releasing (South Node) and finishing something up.

Ask yourself: What do you need to shed to make space for new growth to take hold? Is there something in your life that you feel has been holding you back? If you were to aim for the stars, what would that look like? Usually, for something new to begin, we need to surrender something else whose time has come – to not grasp too tightly to the way things have always been.

══════════════════

“I’ve been thinking a lot about the possible family since I heard the documentary…” Ann continued.

I didn’t know it at the time, but The Homecoming Project would succeed in connecting 57% of the youth we worked with to adoptive and permanent families. It wasn’t a perfect statistic, but it was a lot better than 4%.

“…and I came to realize something important.”

As Ann spoke, I was beginning to see that some belief within her had shifted.

“After hearing the NPR piece, I came to realize that – this whole time – I’ve been asking myself the wrong question…” Ann revealed.

This New Moon in Sagittarius reminds us that sometimes we need to look up to see something we’re not familiar with – to look outside of what we think we already know.

“…because this entire time – for every kid in foster care I’ve worked with – the question I’ve been asking myself is: ‘Is this kid ready to be adopted? Is that kid ready to be adopted? Are those kids ready to be adopted? Are the kids ready?’”

What questions have you been asking? What stories do you tell yourself? What narratives live in your mind that are unhelpful and hinder positive growth?

“But that was the wrong question. This whole time, the question I should’ve been asking myself wasn’t, ‘Are the kids ready?’ ” Ann offered.

During this Sagittarius Solar Eclipse, are you ready to look up, shoot for the stars, and think about what needs to be surrendered in order for you to take a step forward? Is it time to shed that which holds you back in order to begin anew?

“The question I should have been asking is this one: ‘Is the family ready? Is the family ready? Is. The. FAMILY. Ready?’” Ann finished.

In the end, Mike did get adopted by the family. And I think back on this moment with admiration for Ann, who was able to tilt her world on its axis, look at it upside down, and rethink a fundamental question about the way she did her work.

The New Moon Solar Eclipse in Sagittarius invites you to do the same.

Writing and photo ©2021 Jen Braun, JJ Boots Productions LLC

══════════════════

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.

**It’s a lot more complicated than this! To learn more, visit Ampersand Families, the Minnesota nonprofit I co-founded during the sunset of The Homecoming Project. Or check out AdoptUSKids.

To listen to the American Public Media documentary Wanted: Parents (or read the transcript), or to hear the accompanying stories and read the companion essays, visit: http://americanradioworks.publicradio.org/features/fostercare/.